I Wish That I
by zeetus
Summary: On a cold winter night an old man wishes for something and with his last breaths tries to make peace with the world around him. DMHG, Draco's thoughts, one-shot.


_A/N: This piece was born on some very very slow Wednesdays and was waiting on my computer for a long time. The more I read it the less satisfied I was with it, but even if a few people like it than it was worth it. All mistakes ar mine. Have a nice day;)_

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**I Wish That I**

It was early in the year. The weather was freezing; the sun set early and it seemed that the darkness ruled all the time. It was a typical winter, the weak falling prey to the cold.

He knew that he wouldn't survive this winter. He's been waiting for this time; a moment he would be too weak to overcome. He wanted it to come sooner, but why would life grant his wish now? It never did.

The room was dark, only a candle and the fireplace gave some light, though warmth didn't really come with the slowly burning logs. The cottage was not big; a few pieces of furniture were sitting simply on the cold floor, an old desk and a wobbly chair listening to the slow death of their master.

His breathing was laboured and occasionally coughing fits interrupted his vigilance. When he started speaking his voice was a bit harsh from the illness that ruled his body.

"Have you ever wished for something?" He smiled at the stupidity of his own question. "Of course you have. You wished for money, for a car, for love, for a family, for food, for anything. I wished for these as well. But, have you ever wished for something so much that you were ready to give up everything in your life so far to get that wish?"

He looked towards the fireplace, the fire was burning quietly and gave just a little warmth, though it was hours ago when someone last put a thick log on it. The candle's gentle light was dancing on the floor, painting strange patterns on it and the light made the deep lines on the man's face visible.

"I wished for a family. God, how I wished for it. My own big family; a wife and children, a mother and a father. And I got them all. A mother and a father who never loved me. A wife who only married me for my money and children who don't even know who their father is, because their mother left me without a word after three years of marriage. Some family I got. But my wish was granted."

He fell silent; he was tiring easily nowadays. He closed his eyes, listening to the wind outside and to the soothing voice of the flaring fire. When he opened his eyes again he noticed the ticking of the old clock on the wall and was surprised at how much time had passed. He fell asleep, but it was not surprising, for he was very weak and tired.

"I heard that even those wish for love that are in love at the time." He had to stop because a very strong coughing fit attacked him. When it seemed to pass he continued. "I was in love…. I am still. And I still wished for love…… There was a girl." He closed his eyes, remembering the old times. "We hated each other first. Then the war came and it changed everyone. It changed us as well."

He opened his eyes and looked around the room. His eyes finally settled on a framed photograph on the table. There were two people in the picture, a pale looking boy and a bushy haired girl glaring at each other. Then the boy grabbed the girl by the shoulders and kissed her fiercely on the lips. The picture always repeated itself – glare and kiss, glare and kiss.

The old man continued to look around the room. He looked at the chair; its legs were so old it seemed that they wouldn't be able to hold any more weight.

"We were in love." He smirked. "I loved Potter's face when he realized it. Too bad, that we were still not allowed to love each other. Traditions, laws, friends and families were always dividing us. We could never be together. I was in love and I still wished for love – for the kind of love where you don't have to pay attention to anyone else beside yourselves. Where you would gladly die because you know that it was worth it, even for a short time. Because that time you could spend together; together….

And I got it! Oh Merlin, I got it! The love where two people love each other even though they cannot be together. We were in love." He closed his eyes and only whispered the next words. "We are still in love."

He didn't speak for a long time. The room was a little bit colder and the lights were shallower as the logs in the fireplace slowly turned to ashes. He coughed again. It was very bad this time. He turned to his side as he tried to ease the ache from the coughs. When it stopped his breathing was harsh. He took small and painful breaths. He looked really tired and old now as the dim lights clearly showed his deep wrinkles. His skin was very pale even to his own usual standards.

When he spoke again his words were a little bit slurred; every word sounded painful now, but he didn't stop, for he knew that he most likely wouldn't be able to ever finish if he rested now.

"I wished for life. Back in the war we were not sure that we'd survive or not, but we always wanted to. Because then we would have had everything we wished for or at least the chance to achieve it. And I had the chance, and I had them all; love, family, life. Only without the happiness that you usually associate them with."

He had to stop because he already felt the next coughing fit approaching. The room was silent and only the man's harsh coughing interrupted this invisible fog. What a terrible sound to make! Outside the wind slowed down and so the whole room got an eerie and gloomy atmosphere.

"Oh yes, the happiness; that one I was never really granted. I got the love of the best girl in the world only to never have the chance to live it. I got life – I'm still alive, one of the last of our generation, and I have a family of whom I don't even know if they're still alive or not. But I was never happy. I was never given the chance."

He closed his eyes and smiled clearly imagining something good, but something only he could see. "If I could make one wish, one wish that I know would be granted, I know what I would wish for."

Still smiling he opened his eyes and looked up at the ceiling. Then he looked at the burning logs as if he could get some force from the fire before he looked at the moving picture again. The couple still continued their never ending actions: glare and kiss, glare and kiss. He remembered the old times and that great love for the woman in the picture, and he knew that this was what kept him alive for this long time.

With the smile still on his weary face he looked at the only other piece of furniture which was even older than him and started to say. "I…" He had to stop and change to a whisper, for his throat was paining him greatly.

"I wish that I…" He started coughing, not able to finish the sentence. The coughs were rocking his body and they didn't seem to stop. Then the coughing abruptly stopped only to be replaced by an uneven breathing.

He mumbled something almost incoherent. It was so silent that it maybe didn't even reach the far corner of the room, but it seems that it was enough because he didn't try to speak again. His eyes didn't want to stay open and he fought to take breaths but that task became too impossible.

The harsh noises stopped and there was silence in the room. The man stopped moving and didn't mumble his impossible wishes anymore. There was no fanfare or tragic howling from outside. The fire was still burning a little bit and the candle still painted dancing shadows on the floor; nothing extinguished their warmth and light completely. Outside the sky was not as dark as it was only some hours ago though it was still a long time till dawn. Nothing extraordinary happened as the old man quietly passed away on this cold winter day.

The person who has been sitting silently with a hunched back on the chair stood up and slowly stepped up to the bed. She leaned on her cane, her legs were too old and tired to carry her weight alone. Her once bushy brown hair was now gray and put up in a bun as the old women always wear it. Her steps were small and her movements were slow; she was much older than she thought she would ever be.

She kissed his lips, which were still warm, and took his still hands in hers. Her eyes glistened with unshed tears and a sad smile was on her lips as she whispered softly: "I wish that, too."

The End


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